So what’s next — scouts camping out at county fairs to bird-dog the dunk-tank throwers?

Nathan Patterson, 23, hit 94 mph at a fan speed-pitch booth at a Colorado Rockies game on July 15, the feat blew up on social media — and the Oakland A’s signed him to a contract just a couple weeks later.

So how did Patterson, who hadn’t thrown a ball since high school and only started seriously training a year ago, slip under the radar? As he told MLB.com: “I didn’t really have a good arm then.”

Headlines

• At Fark.com: “It’s that magical, hopeful time of the year, when people start convincing themselves that Carmelo Anthony could make a positive contribution to a basketball team.”

• At TheOnion.com: “LeBron James reveals school he founded has seen huge gains In English, math and dunk testing.”

Maxxed out

Washington ranks fourth among states with the highest credit-card debt, according to a WalletHub.com study.

It would’ve been 10th, but the Seahawks put Russell Wilson and Bobby Wagner’s guaranteed money on the team Mastercard.

Hey, bettor, bettor

Oregon Lottery plans to roll out an app, called “Scoreboard,” to tap into the sports-gambling craze in time for football season.

One feature of which, we assume, is a Pick-3 for the color of helmet, jersey and pants the Ducks will be wearing that week.

Big Bad Apple Dept.

Giants fans and Jets fans came in 1-2 in Yahoo! Sports’ Most Tortured NFL Fan Base Index.

Which certainly puts a whole new spin on “New York, New York.”

Roman charges

Major League Soccer handed Sounders defender Roman Torres a 10-game suspension after he tested positive for PEDs.

Officials figured something was amiss when he headed a ball and it exploded.

And Everlast shorts

Manny Pacquiao told TMZ that when he retires from the ring he wants to own an NBA team.

The team’s strengths, we assume, would include boxing out and fighting for rebounds.

Just a flesh wound

A pro surfer attacked by a shark off Jacksonville Beach, Fla., nixed a hospital visit so he could go to a bar and share his story.

And then it was time to go back, grab his board and hang nine.

Batteries included

IndyCar racing will introduce hybrid engines in 2022, the circuit announced.

Which certainly gives “making a late-race charge” a whole new meaning.

Talking the talk

• Times sports desker Brett Miller, via Twitter, after Seahawks coach Pete Carroll said first-round draft pick L.J. Collier will be out “a bit” with an ankle injury: “Carroll famously undersells injuries, so I’m not even certain Collier is alive after reading this.”

• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on the added benefit of the Reds and Indians swapping Yasiel Puig and Trevor Bauer: “At least neither team needs to fire their anger-management counselor.”

The Molar Report

A 7-year-old boy in Chennai, India, complaining of jaw pain wound up undergoing a five-hour surgery to have 526 teeth extracted.

Hey, it was either that or lose them the time-honored way — by playing hockey.

Quote marks

• Jack Finarelli of SportsCurmudgeon.com, on Urban Meyer’s latest “retirement”: “If you look at leaving a job as a head coach in college football as akin to divorce, then Meyer is the Zsa Zsa Gabor of the Gridiron.”

• Real Salt Lake coach Mike Petke, to reporters, on his one-game MLS suspension for a postmatch confrontation with the officials: “What I said afterwards would have gotten me a red card. But I said it after I got the red card.”

• Brad Rock of Salt Lake City’s Deseret News, after BYU assistant coach Ed Lamb praised the team’s two placekicking candidates as “true professionals”: “Yikes! Does the NCAA know about this?”

Point taken

The latest sport to employ instant replay will be … English jousting?

So what’s next, a positive PED test getting blamed on bad grog?

Not so fast there

Jets QB Sam Darnold signed a fan’s speeding ticket.

No word on whether he urged the fan to ease up on the go-routes.

Quote, end quote

• Jim Barach of JokesByJim.blogspot.com, after Jeremy Lin says his NBA job prospects aren’t promising and his career is at “rock bottom”: “Which is really low considering he played a season with the Knicks.”

• Bob Molinaro in the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, after departing U.S. women’s soccer coach Jill Ellis said her successor should be a woman: “If not, I want to hear what Megan Rapinoe has to say.”

Playing long-toss

A ticked-off Indians pitcher Trevor Bauer chucked a ball from the Kauffman Stadium mound clear over the center-field wall.

MLB stat nerds were incensed — not because he hucked it, but that Statcast never announced any distance, launch angle or exit velocity.